Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
