Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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