i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
