Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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