There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
