Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
