No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
