I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
