I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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