She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
