There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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