we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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