How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
