I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
