I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
