I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This baby is an asshole
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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