i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
