So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
