we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
