Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
