Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
