Im at strip club and am horny
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
