YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
