The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
