i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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