I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
