Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
