I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
