atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
