arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
