i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
