So drunk its hurt
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
