my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
