Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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