I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
