God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
