if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
