I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
