Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Can Purell be used as lube?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
