loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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