I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
