this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
