note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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