I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
