Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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