Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
