4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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