i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
