I love black thongs
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
