People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
