Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
