Ambien. No doubt about it.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cannot find my penis.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize