Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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