This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sext me about skeletons
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
