Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
