What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Drake has all the answers
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
